August 11th
Dear Journal,
I am having one of those nights to where your mind is constantly running in circles and you are reliving things or it just keeps spinning out of control and your thoughts are jumbled. Naturally, this is one of the things that I have had to deal with since my injuries in Pandaria. The healers tell me that this will pass in time, however, they gave me some potions to take that will supposedly calm my mind down somewhat. I have only taken the potion once and that was enough to let me know that I won’t be using it frequently. While my mind may have been quieted, I felt half asleep for the next two days afterwards.
Tonight it is raining here in Dolonaar. The boys are asleep and I would hope that my parents are resting comfortably too because they have been very busy with the children. Mother is in her element with the boys and her garden is growing by leaps and bounds. No, I won’t be asking them to uproot themselves again in the future, they are much happier here than they have been anywhere that we have asked them to move too.
The rain reminds me so much of Pandaria. It reminds me of the times that I spent with Kal at his farm and the times that I was with Fnor at his farm. I never thought that I would ever see my Sindorei being happy digging in the dirt. I will always have that image in my mind of him standing there leaning against a hoe and grinning that boyish grin of his – I know that he will never completely grow up even though we have children that almost grown themselves.
We definitely had some very happy times in Pandaria and I do so wish that I could have seen more of the country before I had to come home to be nursed back to health by my parents. It’s a beautiful country or it was before the Horde decided to come along and try to destroy everything that they touched, just as they have in Kalimdor. I just know that I am actually homesick for a place that I was only involved with for a few months – I do want to go back some day.
I did resign from the Sentinels again and my reasons were listed as being personal because my parents were elderly and needed my assistance. Of course, that’s not entirely true – they are elderly, however, I was the one that needed their assistance with my children and for giving me a place to recover for a while. I honestly did not want to resign because I had always hoped to get back to Pandaria to be with my husband, however, that has changed. He is no longer in Pandaria for the time being.
Oh, there are rumors about things and at this point, I am not going to put much validity into them. I know that there is a rebellion within the Horde between the Orcs and Trolls, however, I’m not sure how much the Blood Elves are involved in that openly. I do know that we have shipped supplies from Stormwind to the rebels in Kalimdor on more than one occasion. I’m sure that I will get caught up with things when I finally get to Stormwind to see what is going on with the business there. At least I can still do that. I am actually looking forward to getting back into that part of my life again, it did make me feel like I was accomplishing something and it will give me an opportunity to see Kal when he comes back to drop off some of the stock that he has gathered along with Kae.
I know that every time I think about Kal and his relationship with Kae I have to smile and chuckle a bit. The girl is definitely in love with him and he’s young enough to where he isn’t quite sure what to do about it and his feelings are a jumble. He cares very deeply for her, however, he’s not sure if he would call it love. I have told him that he will know. As his Mother, I know that he is very taken with her and he is in love with her, however, I am just going to keep my mouth shut and let them work things out. It never pays for a parent to become too involved in their adult children’s lives. I knew when I fell in love with my Sindorei, there was no mistaking it in my mind and it is something that will always be.
Once I start feeling better I will be making that trip to Stormwind and after that, I will be going to Shattrath to start the process again of starting up the company there with my Sindorei. That is the only open city, yet again. I know that my Sindorei must feel the same way that I do about moving the Orgrimmar business to Shattrath – it is truly like we have come full circle in our lives.
I know that when we first went to Shattrath together, it was more of an adventure than anything. We were both still very young and the idea of taking on a new life in a strange place was very appealing to the two of us. It was the one place that we could live openly together without many people taking offense to it or trying to kill us for it. Oh, those were the days when the city was starting to fill up with refugees of another sort. Now, from what I understand, there are more Blood Elves taking refuge there from Dalaran. I can well imagine how those poor people must feel after being driven from a place that we have called home for so many years and so many lives were lost.
I know that Fnor and I both miss our home in Dalaran. He spent so many years putting that place together because it meant something to him. He felt that when he was financially able to live in a place like Dalaran, he had finally been successful in his life because not many hunters could afford to set up a business and shop in a city like that. The true beginning of Morningstar Enterprises was in Shattrath City and it grew by leaps and bounds, along with our hard work. Those were truly the happiest days for me, before he got the wanderlust and the idea in his head that he needed a Sindorei wife to carry on his bloodline.
Oh, those were truly hurtful times for me and the children. Yes, we already had the two boys when he got this idea in his mind that he needed a woman of his own race to carry on the family name. At least he finally outgrew that thought and realized that he already had a family with us and didn’t need to carry on any kind of tradition with Silvermoon. Of course, our two sons will never walk the streets of Silvermoon because they look too much like me except for their eyes. I can’t really say that because with as crazy as the world has become, they might be welcomed there someday. I know that I wouldn’t mind seeing the city either because the way that my husband has described it to me, it sounds like a place of such beauty – how much of that is being seen through rose-colored glasses is something that I won’t be able to know until I see the city. I do know that my Sindorei doesn’t like to visit there very often because of the political state that it is in most of the time and the way that people act. I think that any of us might feel the same way about any of our major cities though, there is always political turmoil, it’s a way of life.
I suppose that I ought to try to go to sleep again instead of sitting here and letting my mind wander down memory lane and pondering the meaning of life. Mother has a whole day planned for all of us tomorrow and I suppose that we are going to take the children out for some herb gathering.
One thing I do have to say is that my two Kaldorei sons are totally different from my two oldest ones. Oh, Kal and Vashlan had their moments of being rambunctious and getting into mischief, however, they don’t hold a light to these two little boys. I am happy to admit that they have a healthy respect for my parents – especially my Mother’s wooden spoons that she will use to clout some sense into their heads from time to time. They aren’t nearly as bad as they were in Dalaran where they had too much time on their hands and too little space to expend their energies other than getting into trouble. Here in Dolonaar, they are either going to school, working with my Mother in her garden and gathering herbs or they have gone off with my Father to do some hunting – they like the hunting and call the herbing and gardening girly stuff. They do make sure that those comments aren’t made within my Mother’s hearing because they have found out how “girly” it can be when she increases their workload – she has even started teaching them some cooking and cleaning, which they feel is totally not called for. It does make me laugh when they make those silly faces and roll their eyes when my Mother tells them that it’s time for them to clean the kitchen thoroughly.
Amynlarae Shadowmoon
